Johor Bahru - first impressions

Hi Family!

I've really been looking forward to this email time this week.  I mostly just need a few more people to dump my feelings on.  I was kinda down on myself this week, and I wrote down what I was feeling in my journal.  I always feel better when I get to email home, so I don't feel so bad now.

When I take a step back, some of the things that are really weighing on me don't really matter that much (I feel ridiculous complaining about filtering water and not having fans), but lots of little things built up into a load of stress that left me sick yesterday.  I feel bad dumping on you, but I told you I would tell you about the bad times as well as the good.

Journal entry: Sunday, Jan 19, 2014

I really am weighed down. I could begin to list the reasons, but whenever I pinpoint them, they seem really stupid, like things that people would reply to with “just get over it, already!”  I feel really dumb, making these complaints to God, and I try really hard to work through them, but ignoring them is hard.

About the place and the people

Little factors build up into an overarching and inescapable state of constant discomfort:

- We must filter all water.

- The house doesn’t have fans to help dry me off.

- Being naturally colder than everyone else, I freeze at night.

- People here are mostly Muslim, which means I’m encouraged to not even start a conversation with them.

- It’s hard to find people who will speak Mandarin with me.

- It’s always hot and muggy outside, and the city is filthy.

- It’s dangerous going anywhere outside.  Johor Bahru is known for an extra-high crime rate – I’ve almost been robbed.  Also, my big, strong native companion is afraid, as I am.  We’ve both nearly been hit my Malaysian drivers on the road.

- The branch here is tiny, with almost no activity, and the president isn’t interested in getting to know the members or missionaries.

- People here are very poor, but most aren’t willing to accept the gospel.

I’m really trying not to dwell on only the negative things, but it’s really hard for me to find good, positive things.  I feel like I’m praying more than ever, making sacrifices for my investigators and companions, and wearing myself out doing the very best I possibly can in every task of the day, and it’s not good enough.

I believe firmly that obedience brings blessings, and I feel like doing anything that’s not “missionary work,” for example, taking a little time out of the day to relax isn’t obedient, or isn’t showing God that I’m serving Him with all my strength.

Are my standards too high?  Are my sights set too far in the distance?  How am I to cheerfully represent the Lord when silly little things about me are constantly brought to my attention, and it takes focus and physical strain to even stand straight with any confidence?  My focus in scripture study has been on Ether 12 and Doctrine and Covenants 121-123 this week.  I don’t want to drown in self-pity, but my heart aches.

 

[About my companion:]  I like him.  He's a fantastic teacher, very street-wise, and loving.  He doesn't mince words, and he speaks his feelings.  I think there were a few things mentioned in passing, and probably meant in good humor, which I took to heart in a negative way.  This has been the case with all of my companions so far, though.  I just feel especially self-conscious around all of them.  There are a few things that I assumed of myself, but were just never said to my face before the mission.  I feel like I should be able to be confident in all situations, but many, many times, I just don't know what to do. 

                        

Elder Loke has asked me if I don't like him, or if I hate living with the Elders in our house.  He noticed that I don't talk in the mornings or at night.  I realized that I seemed really anti-social because I was trying to finish everything I have to do in the morning so that I could make it to studies on time, and if I was early, I didn't lounge with them, but I dove right into my study.  I have discovered a love for reading the Book of Mormon in Chinese (probably because it's one thing I can actually see real, daily improvement in) and I hadn't realized that it might seem unfriendly to want to use my little spare time to read something I look forward to all day.

I think that these are things about myself that I used to not care about so much, but when they were brought up as potential weaknesses, I felt like I couldn't tolerate them as someone who was called to represent Jesus Christ.  I feel a lot of pressure to become more Christlike, which would mean ridding myself of imperfections.  I think these are not new developments in actuality, but only in my mind.  I probably need to adjust my focus from self to others, and choose not to be humble, but not plagued by my weaknesses.

I know I'm not the only one.  I was thinking a lot about how many other missionaries feel, and especially about how the Savior felt, rejected by his own people.  I know I can't comprehend that kind of suffering and rejection, and that my own trials are puny in comparison, and really rather silly.  I can rationally think through problems and trials, and I can remember blessings, but it's still just hard to pull myself up out of an emotionally low day.  Thanks for your support.  I do kind of feel like an irrational crybaby when I complain about things, but I'm glad you'll still listen to me! :)

Thanks!  I love you all!

Apartment views

Natalie's note: 

I guess you can't drive around the streets of Johor Bahru on Google Maps like you can around Singapore.  Here's how Google Maps shows Elder Baer's apartment building; then I found some other photos on the web. 

Here's what he said about his apartment:
My new [apartment] is really a nice place.  President and Sister Mains have done a great job finding housing for the missionaries in JB. 

No kidding.  It's touted as one of the luxury apartments in the area, and people comment on the security.  That last bit is always comforting to a Mom.

What?!!!

Ahhh! I just got switched to District Leader...  I know knothing about what to do.  Wish me luck!

First news from Johor Bahru

Johor Bahru Survivor of 3 days!  I've only been here a few days, so I don't know much about the place, but it's pretty different from Singapore.  The first and obvious difference is in the cleanliness.  Singapore was really really clean, and JB, just across the river, is a different world.  It's probably a lot more like the rest of the world, but it's been a while since I was there.  Walking down the streets of JB is a whole different experience - different sights, sounds (or lack thereof) and smells, some not so dissimilar to the dairy farms of Cache Valley.  That's one thing I actually don't miss too much about home, but it was something familiar.  Singapore seemed to have so many people and buildings all crammed into a small space.  JB is a lot more open.  there's a little room between houses, and there are grassy places amidst the buildings.

My new companion, Elder Loke, is a big, strong, friendly, and hilarious missionary, native to Kuala Lumpur.  He's only a couple hours' drive from home!  Even though there are a lot of things that I think might be disappointing or challenging about the mission for him, he maintains a great attitude, a friendly demeanor, and demonstrates great discipline as well as charity.  I love working with him!

It is hard, transferring from an area and from people I had come to love, to a new, completely foreign place where people have warned me I will have to watch my every step and I will have to struggle for success.  At first, I was disappointed to be transferred from Singapore, but my excitement is growing to get to work in this vastly different branch of the church.  At church, the attendance was a whopping 28, including the 4 missionaries.  I gave them an opportunity to apply "enduring to the end" with a 30-minute talk I prepared on 13-hours notice.  During the Church service, which switches from Chinese to English intermittently, because the people here speak a mixture of simple English and Chinese, Elder Loke noticed a face peeping in through the window at our meeting.  We went out to the Foyer to find a small Chinese-Malaysian man who was curious about the Church.  He had been walking down the street and somehow decided to come into the Church, which, from his perspective is just another door in a shop lot, with no Logo or sign.  We were able to give him a copy of the Book of Mormon, and set up another time to meet with him!  I'm not sure what fruits to expect from our encounter with him, but it was a testimony to me that God hears and answers prayers.

To explain a little, I had heard that we hardly ever get to teach Chinese-speakers here, either because their Mandarin is not very good, they can't read, they speak a dialect, or they only understand English or Malay.  I had begun a fast, asking for help to find Heavenly Father's prepared children and Mandarin-speakers.  I think that my meeting with this man was an answer from Heavenly Father which gave me a lot of comfort and support.

Another miracle that I witnessed yesterday was seen in a lesson I had with a brand new investigator.  He and his wife are from KL [Kuala Lumpur], of Chinese heritage, but they have recently moved to  Johor and have been married for about a year.  His wife is a recent convert of three months, and he says he'd like to become one as well.  He is the most perfect example of humility and real intent I think I've ever seen in my mission.  He is willing to read the Book of Mormon with his wife, to pray, to ask real, important questions and seek answers, to come to church against opposition, and to be baptized in a month!  After my first visit with investigators, things often change, but I have great hopes for him!  He even explained (before we even taught him anything) that he wants to become good, informal friends with the missionaries, have us over to his house many times, and that he wants to learn everything we can teach him.  I am so grateful for the opportunity God placed in my path to meet with someone so accepting of the gospel.  I feel strongly that this experience was an answer to my sincere prayer, and one that has truly strengthened my faith and confidence in teaching.

One more thing that has strengthened my confidence in a way that I can't fully explain, is beginning a serious study of the Book of Mormon.  Larry Y. Wilson and his wife came to tour the Singapore Mission this week.  At our zone conference, they both spoke powerfully of the converting power the Book of Mormon has.  I know this is true, and I think I've always known it, but I had become distracted by my many other study-worthy materials as I prepared for lessons and activities.  I have been made more confident and my faith has been strengthened, as well as my teaching ability as I have laid aside my other "good" sources and gone back to the "best"  study source.  I think the reason it strengthened my faith is because it was an act of trust.  I really liked reading my conference talks and MTC books and other missionary tools, but  by relying on the Lord to fulfill his promise, through {Elder? President?} Wilson, that studying the Book of Mormon and reading from it with investigators will be the most powerful source of conversion for missionaries, members, and investigators, I found that real and unseen blessings have come flooding back into my life and teaching.  I've been able to see it in only 5 days! I'm amazed and re-converted.  I know the Book of Mormon, when read as a family, and understood through the witness of the Holy Ghost, brings temporal and Spiritual blessings to the family as well as individuals.  I wish that my love of the Book of Mormon, and my anxiousness to read it every day could infect every one of you.  I hope you can, while the year is still new, commit, recommit, or continue to improve, your personal and family study of the Book of Mormon along with me.  This is not a new opportunity or a new possibility, but as I have begun to read with new, hungry eyes, it has brought so much brand new life and vigor and confidence to my every day and I wish the same for you!

Love,

Brennan

(later email) 

I can't upload any pictures.  It's too slow here. I'll try next week.

Instead, I can tell you a little about "Singlish"- something that I've picked up to an extent, and is a defining Characteristic of my mission, but of which you may not be aware.  It was hilarious the first few times I talked to people in "English" but then I realized that's just really how everyone talks here.

Basically, talk over anybody who's talking.  Whenever you want to say yes, in any form, just say "can." If no, say a drawn out and dramatic "cannot!"  Put "Lah!" in varying durations and emphasis at the end of every sentence in which you want any emotion.  Change all "th" sounds to a "d" or "t" sound, interchangeably. The one that took me longest to figure out:  Replace all consonants, (except for the "st" as in first, and the "n" as in "can") that occur after the last vowel of a word with a hard glottal stop.

So,

"soup" becomes "sou' "

"apartment" becomes "apa'me' "

"bus stop" becomes "busto' "

The last one is really quite strange to me: say "really quite" instead of any other intensifier such as really, very, super, extra, highly, etc.

These are the beginners guidelines to speaking "fluent" *ha* Singlish.  I'm really quite positive that by applying dese suggestions, you all can become expe' quickly.

Love and goo' lu',

Brennan

Frisbee -- it's where the dirt is

Photos sent to Lauren on January 6, 2014

I'm transferred!

I just learned that I'm going to Johor Bahru, the City in Malaysia just north of Singapore.  I'll be moving this Thursday, and I'll be companions with Elder Loke, a big Malaysian native.  I'm really excited for this move, and I can give you more details in a little while.  I have to email president now.

(That was all. We imagine that his timed internet use cut him while he was writing his letter to us.  Here is a map showing Johor Bahru just across the Johor Strait from Singapore, and following are photos of other features of the city.)

Causeway between Woodlands, Singapore, and Johur Bahru, Malaysia

night view of Johor Bahru (from Singapore)

Sultan Ibrahim building - Johor government offices

Johor Bahru mosque

Brennan will have to tell us what this building is

The Elders Share Their Family History

It's a Christmas Miracle!

Merry Christmas!

I know Christmas has passed, but I'm sure its effects are still lingering, so I'll wish you a merry Christmas again!  I'm so glad I got to talk to you on Christmas.  I hope you could tell that I was happy - my companions say that I'm emotionless, even when I try to express my feelings.  (What to do!?)  I hope everyone at home is still well, and that Christmas was happy, restful and healthy.  Please send my good wishes to all the extended family, too.  I'm really sorry I haven't kept in contact with Grandparents, cousins, and everyone recently.  It was really good to see and hear from Grandma and Grandpa Baer and Josh this week and I'm glad things are going well for them!

I think the words of Elder Fronk sum up this week pretty well: "It's a Christmas miracle!"  This week, we got to spend a lot of time working with the members of the ward, especially with the YSA, who were able to help us out a lot in teaching lessons, introducing their friends, and giving us referrals.  We have 7 new investigators this week, a record-breaking church attendance (for as long as I've been in the Singapore 2nd Ward), and we are teaching 2 families!  I've never taught families before this week!  I know Heavenly Father was really placing opportunities in our path, and that by exercising faith in talking to people and working hard to prepare lessons and follow up with investigators and members, we were able to expand our teaching pool, become closer with the members, and have more joy in our companionship.  I think it really is a miracle!

We met with both of these new families together this week, at one home.  On Saturday, we had more deelicious Thai food and taught a condensed lesson about the Restoration.  On Sunday night, we went back and I helped them cook a super-sized pot of Arrabiata and a few pounds of Rosemary Chicken.  (I had to use Chinese cooking wine instead of white cooking wine like I'm used to, so it had a distinctively Asian taste - really good!)  After we finished, both families gathered together, crammed onto one sectional (sofa) to hear a message about baptism and the doctrine of Christ.  They all seem very receptive, and have expressed desires to have the priesthood power in their lives and receive the cleansing ordinance of baptism.  I hope their intent is real, and I look forward to continuing discussions (and dinner appointments) with them!

Not only has it been a miracle week for investigators, but it's been a miracle week for food, as well.  On Wednesday, (Christmas) I found the best Chinese food I've ever eaten at a little shop in Chinatown.  Unfortunately, I don't remember what it's called because I can't read characters like the ones in the shop window very well yet.  I got an overwhelming amount of chocolate this week, as well.  There appeared on our doorstep  a huge basket of various chocolates, with a note from some anonymous member(s).  Wow.  On Saturday, I had the Thai Dinner, then went to a member's shop for more food than all the 2nd Ward missionaries could eat.  I still have leftovers from two days ago, and I haven't been hungry for two days, even though I fasted yesterday.  I really don't believe that my food experience was more important, or better, than my experience with the people this week, but after I finished summarizing our experiences with the people I met this week (without too much detail, because lots of the conversation still goes over my head) I realized that all I did was meet new people and eat a ton of food.

I'm anxious to see pictures and hear everyone's own accounts of Christmas at home, and I hope the new year is as merry and bright and refreshing as Christmas.  I love you all, and thank you all for your love and prayers for me, and for all the missionaries!

Brennan

Street View

We recently "drove" around the streets of Singapore, via the amazing technology offered by Google Earth, and spotted this unique building from the photos Brennan sent of the view from his apartment, his first week in Singapore. 

Using our skills of deduction, interrogation, triangulation, and advanced Google street navigation, we have scoped out his current apartment building.  Just thought you might like to see it, too.